Inou-Battle: Act 4

No, Trigger, not like this!

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Final leg of this series. How does it stack up against our horrifically low expectations? Do you even need to ask?

So we open that Tomoyo has failed in her publishing attempt. I’m…I’m not sure if I’m upset this isn’t given more emotional weight, it’s almost played for laughs with how she beats up her body pillow. But on the other hand, it is nice to admit it isn’t the end of the world, after all, she’s a kid. She has her life ahead of her. So not dwelling on this is a good message, all told.

You know, maybe I’ve been overly hard on you, show. Maybe…

Oh, she IS despondent that Hatoko loves Andou.

…Fuck me for giving you the benefit of the doubt, Inou-Battle. I really should have known better.

So Kuki is spending summer vacation trying to get between Andou and Chifuyu, who is still this world’s most adorable lolita dominatrix.  None of this is particularly amusing. Though I did like that the kids ignored the car and were after the stuffed whale consolation prize.

Aaaaaand we get to endure Kuki falling in love with the world’s biggest dick. What will save us from this?

Water park shenanigans with Sayumi…damnit. Just your average harem date, without a lot to elevate it. Save for the very end when Mephistopholes pulls out the F card. Oo, something that’s almost kind of interesting!

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We start episode 11 with Tomoyo in disguise. She acts all chuuni, and Andou tells her to knock it off.

The duck? Did we miss an episode of exposition where Andou stops acting like a retard? No, no we did not.

Oh boy. A beach episode. We just had a poor man’s beach episode, time for a full out no holds barred beach episode!

This is so boring. I apologize to you guys, I skipped like a minute of the HILARIOUS antics. You know, from the point I wanted to claw my eyes out until the point where it looked like the show wanted to be taken seriously again.

What we get is that typical broken Aesop in a harem series. Harem Hen #1 is told she’s a very special friend to Walking Penis. She accepts this as a wonderfully positive thing.

Please don’t misconstrue what I’m saying into some friend-zone kind of complaint. Although that is a weird way to end a romance series.

But this is not Hatoko and July (I’ll use his first name just to pretend they’re both people of equal worth, something this show has never done) talking shit over and agreeing they make better friends than dating partners.  This is Hatoko still wanting his dick, but accepting what little scrap of emotional attention she gets in return. As all good submissive Japanese women would do, right?

That is why this show is bad. Just as bad as any other harem show. It doesn’t matter if its elements are better executed, they are still those SAME bad elements.

Like a sculpture made from dog poop. It’s probably the nicest looking dog poop in the world, a masterpiece in a certain respect. Doesn’t change the fact we’re still dealing in dog poop, do you understand?

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So Tomoyo and Andou have a date at the festival. Much carnival games were had. We get a nice little resolution. More unintentionally funny dialogue as Andou says he doesn’t think Tomoyo needs any consolation.  We have a heart-stringy montage of the Tomoyo-Andou moments, such so that if I thought for a minute this series was going to pull anything, I’d say someone was dying.

But Kudou’s under mind control.  And luring the kids into a trap she steals first Hatoko’s powers, then Chifuyu’s.

Andou, in one of the few clever things I’ll give him credit for, tried simulating the battle internally if it had been allowed to happen, and the ways in which to combat her. Her shield’s Tomoyo with his body, as apparently Kudou’s power LITERALLY needs her to see it happening. And I totally buy this about Andou’s character, so good job.

They fight and fight and fight, but turns out Andou’s second stage was only good for burning his own arm. We then see they had to resort to cutting it off, which is why we haven’t seen him using it since then. But that makes it the perfect power to trick Kudou into stealing.

See, this was actually kind of clever.

Well possession girl leaves, they resolve it, and boom. Everyone lives and happy ever after.

And of course, we end the series with EVERY harem hen sewing circle with each other over how much they all want to bone Andou.

Andou ends on a monologue about how powers don’t exist to hurt people, nor make people happy. Boy you said it, buddy, they barely exist in this series at all.

See you all at the recap.

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